Institute for Marriage & Relationship
Preservation & Enhancement

RELATIONSHIP STRESS TEST  Adapted from Dr. Phil McGraw’s Relationship Rescue

An unscientific approach at looking at your relationship-a behavioral inventory.   Issues to consider…

1.  Do you or your partner hold a grudge after an argument?  YES OR NO

2.  Do you or your partner frequently keep your feelings bottled up?  YES OR NO

3.  Do discussions often turn into heated arguments?  YES OR   NO

4.  In an argument, are there often-personal attacks, such as name-calling?  YES OR NO

5.  Do you or your partner treat your relationship like a competition?  For example, do you fight to be right?  YES OR NO

6.  Have you stopped looking forward to spending time with your partner?  YES OR NO

7.  Do you withhold affection from your partner?  YES OR NO

8.  Do you or your partner avoid talking about serious issues?  YES OR NO

9.  Have you given up on trying to meet your relationship needs with your partner?  YES OR NO

10. Are you filling the emotional void left by your relationship with other people and activities?  YES OR NO

11. Do your arguments end with one or both of you feeling worse?  YES OR NO

12. Do you or your partner feel “on-guard” when you’re together?  YES OR NO

13. Do you often feel trapped in your relationship?  YES OR NO

14. Do you feel your mate doesn’t understand you?  YES OR NO

15. Do you often feel angry or frustrated with your partner?  YES OR NO

16. Do you feel your mate doesn’t appreciate you?  YES OR NO

17. Do you often feel lonely in your relationship?  YES OR NO

18. Do you feel powerless to change the relationship?  YES OR NO

19. Do you feel pessimistic or negative about your future?  YES OR NO

20. Do you feel like your best is never good enough for your partner?  YES OR NO

TOTAL NUMBER OF QUESTIONS ANSWERED YES = __________

SCORING:

0 to 4    Good relationship, rare stress

5 to 10  Relationship needs work, occasional exposure to stress

11 to 15  Seriously troubled, under frequent stress

16 to 20   Relationship is damaged, extremely stressful

ONLY YOU CAN DECIDE THE NEXT MOVE.